Serena had been up and getting to it since dawn, down at the quay shredding unprepared boatmen.
I imagined another local entrepreneur, fooled by her unthreatening appearance, smiling condescendingly down at her, chin unprotected, little realising that he might soon become the first Turk in space.
She has an uppercut that Asterix would covet, one that could put a man into orbit.
After much discussion, and a thwarted attempt by me to leave Ucagiz in a shared taxi, we decided on a 4 hour walk down The Lycian Way to Aperlae. The route would follow the coast west, then head inland across the neck of a peninsula and finish back on the coast at a beach cafe with a jetty. From there Serena had assurances from an old boatman that we would be returned to Ucagiz for an incredible 25TL each.
We set off briskly following the famous red and white "Way" markers that are daubed on trees and rocks every 100 metres or so.
|The Lycian Way marker|
|Serena and Doomed Dog|
My 5 year old trainers weren't protecting my feet much atall, and the rain was back again.
We stopped for a rest. Serena rooted through her bag.
"I have forgotten water!"
|Rocks, trees and rocks|
I had two sweaters, a torch, three maps of the same area, suncream and a pen. No water, no food, no coat.
She had two coats, an orange and a tomato. No water, no torch, no map.
Serena lent me her spare coat - that was bought by and for a woman who dreams of one day becoming five feet tall. I put on both sweaters then the coat. When I zipped it up I heard a distant booming and began to feel faint.
"Bit tight under the arms. How does it look?"
Serena found it difficult to reply.
Gentleman to the core I refused half the orange.
"I'll just walk with my mouth open for a bit."
"The British allow Japanese boats to go fishing right next to Argentina! They take everything. Calamari used to be cheap in my country, but not now!"
"Well, can't you stop them?"
"How? We have too small army to stop anything. Our coastguard only carry small trumpets. They can only make noises at the Japanese!"
"Any luck with that?"
After about two hours we left the coast and cut into the peninsula.
|The neck of the peninsula|
The track was still the same. Rocks, olives, rocks and scrub.
Along the way hikers have been piling up rocks and making towers or sculptures.
|I said "Frog", she said "Pig!"|
After a total of 3 hours we arrived at Farouk The Sailorman's cafe and jetty and had a very fast beer.
Then we called our hotel owner who promised to send a boatman to fetch up immediately.
"But, it should cost 100TL, not 50!"
"Well, Serena made a deal with that guy for 50..."
"But, it's impossible!"
"You take my 25. You give him 50. Then I give him nothing and we say goodbye. If necessary, I can cry!"
Even whispered that sounded like a threat. I really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
As it turned out tears weren't necessary, and the old boy took the 50 without a murmur.
And here's what you've all been waiting for. Me in that coat...
|"How does it look?"|